Cote D'Ivoire - December 2005Hello everyone,

I hope you are all well. Well I arrived safely in Ivory Coast on Sunday night. Almost missed my flight, as I stupidly went to the 2 Brewers on Sat night after my party and got home, ate KFC, and went to bed without setting my alarm clock. So I was awoken, having only had c.4 hrs sleep with the phone ringing as the taxi was outside waiting. NOT good, considering I hadn't packed all my bags, and I was cutting it fine as it was. Then I get to the airport and discover that AIRFRANCE have decided to employ the most retarded staff available, and fed them temazepam in order to make them go slower..... Almost missed my flight. Fights nearly breaking out at the checkin desks and everything.

Anyway the flight over was OK. Although I have to say that Airfrance is not a patch on Singapore airlines in terms of quality of service and leg-room and entertainment. Sorry, frenchies!

Arrived in Abidjan, the "capital" of Cote D'Ivoire after only a 6-hour flight from Paris. Were collected from the airport by our SC driver, and met some aid workers from the UN in the queue, who briefed us on the security situation. For those of you who don't know... Cote D'Ivoire is one of the only 2 countries (along with Somalia) that the British Foreign and Commonwealth office advise against all travel. But we were assured that the security plan in SC was good, and we would be OK as our names were added to the UN Security plan and we'd be covered by the UN in the event of an emergency (well, the country has been in "emergency status" for some time now already). So we leave the airport and start driving to our hotel compound. Noticed on the way though that all that lights were out and ALL the whole city / streets were literally pitch black. There had been a power cut in the WHOLE country, and it was feared the rebels / militia had done it, as a new PM had been nominated that day and it was likely that some fundamentalists in the government controlled south or the rebels who control the north half of the country above the UN buffer zone would try to start war). So there was a lot of tension in the air, and our guide told us that our plans to leave Abidjan the next day and travel north might be cancelled if there was any violence erupting on the streets, and transport links closed. We were supposed to be jumping in with the UN World Food Program on a flight they do north once a week, but that was cancelled, so the plan was to have a security meeting at 8am in Abidjan at the office, and leave ASAP to drive north for 8 hrs to the field if the Security situation allowed. Something I was just a wee bit worried about, if truth be told.

Anyway got to the hotel / Guest house which was in this security guarded compound approved by the UN and had to fill in check in details by candlelight. Then was given A candle to go to my room for the night. I was sh*tting it. Especially when later on that night I heard gunshots being fired in the streets whilst lying in bed. Anyway thankfully the lights came back on and we were taken out for food by the local Ivorian staff from SC. Met some characters... really nice people though! And quite beautiful, the West Africans.

Anyway next morning went to the office for a security briefing by 8am. Couldn't get on the flight with WFP so after we received our reports from around the country and the UN and other NGOs, the programme director decided that we should leave ASAP for Guiglo in the north, where we deliver our programmes, before any violence / demonstrations broke out on the streets of Abidjan and the security / army / guerrilla checkpoints got paranoid and trigger happy. Violence was expected from the Jeune Patriot activists / fundamentalists, as they'd been demonstrating at the possible appointment of every PM put forward. Anyway, now it's been a few days and there doesn't seem to be any sign of insurgency, so everyone is taking a sigh of relief. Anyway that's the history / current affairs lesson over. Ha ha! ;-)

Travelling up here to Guiglo, the scenery was beautiful. Very lush in places, and loads of villages along the way. What's overwhelming is the number of children everywhere. I suppose that's a by-product of the lack of family planning education etc. and child mortality rates here. Also along the way were a vast number of checkpoints, some army, some militia. Luckily we didn't get stopped as we have the SC logo branded on the vehicle, a struck-out kalashnakovs logo/ sign to indicate we were not armed, and travelling in a UN convoy for most of the way... the driver also was checking into "mission control" after every checkpoint (all "controls" to manage the security risk... I'm speaking from an auditor's point of view now! How sad am I?)...
Anyway, got to Guiglo, went to the field office to meet all the staff, then left for the place I was staying (and delivering my presentation / workshop for 2 days) and arrived at the most beautiful tranquil catholic retreat, where which had accommodation. I thought, "Yes, accommodation's bound to be clean and nice." Alas, NO... BASIC! A damp bed, and luckily...... a small light attached to the wall. Stone floor. Chair. That's all. Insects everywhere outside. Not my idea of somewhere I could lay my weary head after a hard day's driving.. So we went out for dinner, and LUCKILY.... There was a room free in the SCUK guest house which they own / rent. Ahhh... it was CLEAN, had a local cook, cleaner, houseboy who makes breakfast, does dishes, cleans up, and constant security guards in the grounds 24-7. And with ALL the normal things a house has, like sofa's, a TV, dining table. It's the simple things in life you appreciate when you don't have them. So think I will stay here and work for a few days from here before moving onto the other field offices. Got to meet rep's from UNICEF and other NGOs tomo (well, that's my excuse anyway)...

On a work level, the work we do here is split into 2 main thematic programmes at the minute:
ü Health - where we set up and run mobile clinics to provide primary health care to children and mothers, so as to aim to reduce child sickness and death.
ü Protection - where we negotiate the release of boy soldiers with the rebels in the border region with Liberia. We also have IDTR experts (Identification, Documentation, Tracing and Reunification) who try to re-unify displaced and separated children with their families. It's horrible listening to some of the stories and things that the boys have seen and had to do / endure. Makes you realise how lucky we all are, and how trivial some of our problems can be in comparison.

Have made friends with some cute young children who are here in the village. They loved me, coz I had my digital camera, and was taking their pictures and could show them straight away. They wouldn't leave me alone after the first time, and kept bringing their friends, and a dog at one point, up to have their picture taken too. Have got some great ones!
Another problem that wasn't foreseen / warned by SC is that would have to communicate in bloody French with loads of people who don't speak English. My French is crap now, though has VASTLY improved since I got here. It's amazing what the survival instinct in us makes us capable of.

Anyway, I know that I have gone on for ages, and you're probably busy or not interested, but some of you might be bored at work and this can be a mind-numbing distraction. And it also serves as a diary for me to look back and remember my trip.

So those of you who want no further instalments from future trips, please let me know, and I will try to delete you from my group list.

I hope everyone is well and enjoying the Christmas festivities. Wish I was there enjoying all the Xmas parties and feeling the cold... It's so hot and humid here it's uncomfortable, and I have a sweaty ****** by lunchtime... Nice!!!

A bientot, mes amis! Portez-vous bien!

Alex

Part 2

Let me start by saying "You are not gonna BELIEVE what 'appened ta metoday!" What happened.. to me... today? My life is like a film!"(Catherine Tate extract - got to get one in somewhere).
Anyway, I have not had a chance to exercise AT ALL in the past 2 weeks. Ifelt so sluggish this morning, and restless, and fat, that I had to go outfor a run. We can't leave the compound, otherwise we wont be protected bythe UN Security Plan we're signed up to, so I thought... Fine, I'll just runup and down this street (it's not too short). Started jogging up the streetto one end, past all the lovely houses with security guards outside everyone, got almost all the way and then I go and come across some guard dogs,who start barking madly at me.... Vicious looking huge mother-f*ckers. Allwas fine, I thought. They're tied up, so I just slowed down, walked pastand then jogged to the end of the road. Turned back, and started joggingback down towards MY hotel, past the tied-up guard dogs... Or what I thoughtwere tied up guard-dogs. Nope. One of the little f*ckers was loose, andcame running at me. Needless to say, I sh*t a brick. Stopped dead in mytracks. Clutched onto my Ipod like it was going to save me: maybe if Isqueezed it hard enough, I would disappear before the dog reached me. Alas,no. My plan had failed, and I was confronted with a vicious, huge, angrydog. We looked at each other, and I thought for just a moment that I hadun-nerved him with my evil eye, and he'd run off, flee, scared of me and themysterious, magical powers of my weapon (my ipod that is). But once again,no. I was wrong. My canine chum decided, instead, to try to take a bite atmy hand, at that moment clutching my IPOD.Luckily I jumped back at the precise moment his jaws were about to clasp myhand, and he missed. I ducked, I dived, I... (that's blatantly not true -would be funny though). After the wee b*gger took a swipe at me, thesecurity guards came and chased him off, and I was left to go along,continue with my only pathetic, feeble attempt at exercise in 2 weeks, whichended, sadly, when I reached the hotel again, around 4 and a half minutesafter I left the hotel. My morning jog cut short. My hopes dashed. Mywaistline, ever-increasing!
Anyway that was the start to MY morning!
So the night I signed off last time, we went out for brochette du capitaine.Fish fillet on a skewer to you and I. The food here is amazing. Well,there are 2 places that do REALLY good fish. Everything else is a bit...well... ahem, let's say "unusual", shall we (I did tell you about hedgehogand groundhog)! The day after the email I had a meeting with the UNHCR(United Nations High Commission for Refugees) and UNICEF. I had to see whatwork Save the Children were doing in collaboration with them too see if itwas an "optimum" relationship, and whether we were all working together likeone big happy family to gain maximum benefit for the we'ans..... Blah blahblah... But the meeting was delayed, because of an "event" in themorning...
I got up at 6am (there's a curfew in Guiglo between 10pm and 6am - whichmeans you're inevitably in bed by 10 or 11 at the latest as there's nothingto do but work), and our house boy / cook / cleaner (Moosa) was setting thetable outside on the porch for breakfast, while I was working in the livingroom. There was a lot of kerfuffle? outside and I heard our security guardsopened the iron gates. Next thing Moosa runs in and says, in French, "We have to call Dr Assa (one of our doctors / program officers)... a woman hasbeen beaten unconscious on the road (well, a dirt track) outside"... Turnsout a woman had been beaten by her husband or partner, apparently foradultery. Then he (Moosa) turns run and tries to run out with his "Save"top on. Sadly, we had to stop him, and tell him that we couldn't getinvolved (political reasons), and shouldn't he call the police, quickly.Anyway, to cut a long story short, we sent Moosa to get a Taxi to take thisunconscious woman to the hospital, whilst the whole community just crowdedround. The guy had done a runner and was nowhere to be seen. Later thatnight, Moosa told us that they had went to the village chief / elder, and he>agreed to resolve the issue, and pay for the hospital treatment, and the man/ woman would be dealt with by "traditional justice". I didn't want to askanymore.....
So anyway that was the start to my day last Thursday.... Meetings went wellthat day and spent the next 2 days interviewing the SCUK staff at theoffice. Boring stuff, most of it. Like looking at how they receive, storeand handle cash in the absence of security and a banking facility, how theystore their assets, how they track vehicle movements and ensure staffsafety. But also interesting stuff. Looking at the systems and agreementsthey have in place for selecting partners to support and train, looking athow they distribute their medicines and community health support / training,assessing how they go about devising strategies to negotiate with themilitia for the release of child soldiers. That was all really good, and theday just flew in when I was doing that. Didn't get all the information I'dlike to, but then again, I could've been there all day every day for a weekand still felt that way. Hate that about audit... you have to try and knowEVERYTHING about EVERYBODY's job and tell them how it could be improved....When these guys have been doing it for ages.... How the hell do you dothat? Especially when you're telling people.. look, you should really tryto do this... knowing full well that everyone's under pressure as it is....You feel like such a f*nny! Oh, well, it's what I get paid for, it serves apurpose, and if I don't do it, somebody else will. That was for those ofyou who were asking what I do when I go away. Not SAVING CHILDREN, per se,but helping other, more selfless people do it!
Left Guiglo at 8am Saturday for the marathon journey back to Abidjan (viaJouquai where we were meeting up with another pick-up carrying my colleaguewho was in an other place for a few days)... Met the UN convoy on the way.Oh my god! Can you imagine travelling in a massive, long convoy of 30+white trucks / land cruisers and armoured vehicles with the UN logoemblazoned on them. Travelling along these African roads, through villagesand towns at high speed where everyone's carrying fruit / washing / spareparts / children and whatever else on their heads. Everyone just stoppedand stared. Every 4 vehicles there were these land cruisers with cut outroofs (big sunroofs, really) with an armoured UN worker with camouflagedcombats and a blue helmet hanging out of it with a huge machine gun strappedto the roof. Everyone else was kitted out in the camouflages and blueberets - the (in)famous UN peacekeeping troops (anyone seen Hotel Rwanda?).There were busloads of them (mostly Bangladeshi, funnily enough). TheFrench military were also tagging along... but they were in their own greenarmy trucks, a bit behind. There was a big strategic meeting for all thepeacekeeping troops, apparently. Anyway, it was pretty cool, if a bit mad.
So anyway, arrived in the capital on Sat night. Went for dinner and that wasit. Next day though, they lifted the travelling restriction to the beaches(Cote D'Ivoire is very tropical and has AMAZING beaches which used to befull of tourists before the civil war), so we were allocated a driver forthe day and went to the beach (with a little craft shopping along the way).Beaches were stunning. Paradise. Picture attached. Bought a woodenhand-carved chair, and table, and some other nik-naks. For next to nothing(dunno how I'm gonna get them home, but hey!) So anyway since then justbeen working in the capital. And that's IT! My days go like this:

• 5.45am: Wake up. Turn on laptop. And music.


• 6am: Shower and change.


• 6.15am: Sit at laptop and work / type up findings of previous day.


• 7.45am: Picked up and go to work for a Security briefing at 8am.


• 8am: Security Briefing.


• 8.15am-5.30pm: Back to work - meetings etc.


• 6pm: Back to hotel / GH.


• 6pm-9.30pm: Work in GH / apartment, typing up findings of day (withdinner in between).


• 9.45pm: Bed.

So NOT very exciting at all, this week anyway....
However all is not lost, it's Thursday morning, 6.30am, and the Programme>Director has said he's taking us out tonight to the Hotel Ivoire (nicestotel here) with the director from Save-Sweden, to relationship-build. It'sour last night here too. Despite it being really interesting and enjoyable,I can't wait to get back, to be honest.
"All those Xmas parties! Punch! Presents! Kisses under the mistletoe!
Guess how many Xmas parties I've missed in the past 2 weeks.Go on, take a guess.....How many parties..... have I missed...... in the last 2 weeks?Just guess!
A LOT?!!!!!!!"
Yes, it is....."
For those who didn't get that, you are missing out on something important inlife and I suggest you ask Santa, nicely, for the Catherine Tate Show DVDfor Xmas. Best buy of the year! You heard it here first!

Anyway, what else has happened here?
The night before last, 2 staff from MSF (Medecins Sans Frontiers - anotherINGO) has their house broken into. The Security Guards were tied up. Thestaff were "roughed up" a bit, tied up, and had everything stolen. Luckilyit was not violent and nobody was seriously hurt. Funny thing was... thiswas supposed to be one of the "safe-houses" in the event of an emergency /civil unrest. Didn't give me too much confidence in the UN Security Planthat's for sure. Anyway... one more night to go, so... actually, let's nottempt fate...Well, on that note, I hope everyone's having fun in the run up to Xmas.Will be good to see you all for a festive beer, if possible (given geographytc.), and if not, then have a Merry Xmas and drunken New Year.

Cheers for now. Take it easy,
Alex